Squishy
by Liona Skycat
Summary: It's not every day your partner is mysteriously transformed into a human. Won't this just be a bundle of fun for Barricade and Frenzy? NOTE: To returning readers, all chapters have been revised.
1. Prologue

**Title:** Squishy, Prologue  
**Characters:** Barricade and Frenzy  
**Rating:** T for swearing  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything related to Transformers except merchandise, and I am making no money off this story.

**Author's Note: **This fic has been completely revised and is close to double its original word length! I highly recommend any old readers re-read the entire thing.

* * *

**Prologue**

Barricade prowled restlessly up and down the dark street. He was waiting for Frenzy, the two of them having split up earlier: he to get a break from the spastic little glitch, and his partner to raid a computer store for Allspark-knows-what reason. But their chosen meeting time had come and gone and there was still no sign of the diminutive 'Con. Sure, Frenzy wasn't always the most punctual of Decepticons, but being over a mega-cycle late was pushing it, even for him.

Of course, Barricade wasn't _worried_, never that, he was just irritated. He didn't appreciate being forced to wait around for that shoddily thrown together pile of broken razorblades, which was exactly why he was currently searching through the surrounding area again and again. And again. Right.

As worried as he definitely wasn't, it was still… disconcerting that he hadn't picked up a single sign of his partner. He wasn't too surprised that his scanners hadn't caught anything, as Frenzy was an expert at not being found, but what was really worryi- _disconcerting_ was that he had been unable to contact Frenzy. Barricade didn't understand it. Distance was not an issue for their comms, and not even enough cement to hide the Allspark's energy signature could block them. So where the slag was Frenzy? Barricade swore that if the little glitch thought he was funny, hiding and ignoring his calls…

Finishing another circuit of the area, Barricade returned to the alley where he had dropped off Frenzy in the first place and parked. He glowered – as much as a car could glower – at the computer shop that seemed to have swallowed up his partner. Frenzy wasn't in there, he was fairly sure. If nothing else, his sensors would pick up the movement, and there was none-

Movement in the alley.

Barricade's attention snapped to the far end of the alley, where something was moving in the shadows behind the dumpster. He couldn't technically see it yet, but he had other senses beyond sight, and he quickly realised that it wasn't his partner. Just another worthless human. For a moment, Barricade considered just leaving and continuing his search, but then he thought better of it. Or perhaps worse. Here he was, all riled up and irritated, and there was a little squishy, all vulnerable and ripe for the terrorizing. What a perfect way for him to de-stress.

The human was stumbling to its feet, one hand braced on the dumpster, and turning toward him, its features still obscured in shadow. Revving his engine loudly, Barricade turned to point straight down the alley and snapped on his high-beams. The effect was immediate, the human recoiling from the sudden light and letting out a strangled yell. Seemingly unsteady, it took a step back and tripped over its own feet, falling to the pavement in a shuddering, whimpering heap with its arms clasped protectively over its face.

Enjoying a cruel mental chuckle, Barricade snapped off the high-beams and with a threatening rev of his engine, drove closer to the human. He had to admit that as humans went, this one seemed to be an especially pathetic specimen. It – well, obviously a 'he', actually – curled naked and shivering on the ground, its skin pale enough to almost glow in the light of his headlamps. Where most humans were all round edges and large, squishy areas, this one seemed rather… less squishy than most. All sharp points and highly defined bones, as though it barely had enough fat and muscle to support itself. Frankly, he thought it made the human look _less_ ugly than most of these fleshbags. Still, maybe he should put it out of its misery. With another loud rev, he jerked closer.

Stick-thin arms drew away from the human's head, revealing strangely electric blue eyes, widened with fear. But shoving itself into a sitting position, the wretched creature actually reached towards Barricade instead of pushing away, and began to babble and stutter. Stupid thing probably thought he was just a cop here to help. Well, better dissuade it. Another jerk forward with accompanying rev brought him dangerously close to the human. Instead of frightening it further this just seemed to piss the meatsack off, prompting it to shout unintelligibly at him. Except Barricade was quickly coming to the realization that he actually could understand a few words of what the pale human was saying, but it wasn't in any language that had originated on Earth.

It was Cybertronian.

There was swearing. A lot of swearing. Something about being confused. Something about waking up. Some other words that didn't really connect into anything understandable, and a whole lot of garbled attempts at what were probably Cybertronian words. Stunned, Barricade could only stare at the human in confusion. How the slag could a human know his language? Or even know _of_ his language, let alone try and speak it to him. Did its speaking Cybertronian to him mean it knew who he was? What he was?

As though reading his processor, the human promptly answered that question. Apparently getting tired of trying to choke out understandable Cybertronian, the human snarled and, using Barricade's fender to help force itself to its feet, slammed its hands down on his hood. Angrily, it stuttered in English: "Ba-ba-barricade! What the _fuck_?!"

Suddenly everything about the disgusting little creature seemed horribly familiar. The electric blue eyes, the freakish thinness and pointy edges, the stuttering and swearing, even the Allspark-damned crest of silvery grey hair on the thing's head, its posture and the general twitchiness it was beginning to exhibit… All of it just screamed something at Barricade, something terrible and impossible and unthinkable, but he couldn't get it out of his head.

In a voice that fully acknowledged how insane he felt for even thinking of this, Barricade choked out one word.

"_Frenzy?_"


	2. Chapter One

**Title:** Squishy, Prologue  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything related to Transformers except merchandise, and I am making no money off this story.

**Author's Note: **This fic has been completely revised and is close to double its original word length! I highly recommend any old readers re-read the entire thing.

* * *

**Chapter One**

"You are not Frenzy," Barricade stated. "That would be impossible. Robots cannot turn into humans."

Despite the fact that this human was obviously not Frenzy, absolutely could not be, Barricade had still let the naked little bonebag inside him. He wasn't entire sure why, obviously he should have just left the damned thing in that alley and gone looking for the _real_ Frenzy, maybe run over it for good measure for even making him _think_ that it could be-! But slag it all, the human was glaring at him – at his holographic driver in particular – and he couldn't deny the disturbing familiarity of that irritated gaze. Even if it was coming from fewer eyes than usual.

"I kn-nnnow it's impossible!" the human snarled, wrapping his arms protectively around his bare knees. "But it still happened!" Muttering, he added, "If you're going to s-ss-speak Cybertronian, speak _slower_, glitch-head. Hard to hear it properly, almost like I'm deaf. And blind. And scent-numb…"

"Prove it," Barricade said, switching over to English. He didn't do it for the human-who-is-not-Frenzy's sake, of course. He just hated speaking slowly and having to repeat himself. The faster he could figure out what's going on, the faster he could dump this disgusting creature into a ditch and have it stop smearing his front passenger seat with organic oils.

"We first met at-" the human started, stumbling over the Cybertronian word. It was clear enough that Barricade couldn't pretend that it hadn't been the correct answer. Well, maybe if he tried really hard he could, but it didn't seem worth the effort. No human should know that, but this flesh creature could _not _be his partner. It made absolutely no sense! However, between the knowledge, the location, the strange sense of familiarity, there were a lot of coincidences pointing to one impossible truth.

"What's my real name?" Barricade demanded, refusing to admit quite yet what he already knew.

The human choked out the syllables of Barricade's Cybertronian name, and followed up with Frenzy's name for good measure, along with the few Cybertronian curses he found he could pronounce well. He finished up by shouting, "Ss-st-stop asking stupid questions! I am me! Barricade, _help_." He kicked Barricade in the dashboard then yelped, rubbing his foot in pain and surprise.

"What the slag am I _supposed_ to do, meatbag?!" the cop car snarled back. He had to admit the human was his partner. Some way, somehow, this fragile little sack of bones was Frenzy. But what was he supposed to do? This shouldn't even have been possible in the first place, so how the slag was he supposed to help? He was no miracle-worker!

Frenzy had gone still at his outburst, and now let out a loud, wet sniffle. Though he turned his head away from Barricade's holographic driver, the motion did little to hide the build up of liquid in the human's eyes from the Saleen's internal sensors. Nor did the quick swipe of a bony hand across Frenzy's cheek hide the fact that the human had begun to cry.

"Hey," Barricade said, voice gruff but unsure. "Stop leaking saline fluid. Just because you… look human right now doesn't mean you have to adopt their disgusting habits."

This only made the human's eyes leak faster. Frenzy rubbed frantically at his eyes and cheeks, the near-white skin of his face quickly becoming red and blotchy. "I c-c-can't help it," he sobbed. "It w-won't stop!"

It was beyond Barricade how organics got by when they couldn't even control their bodily functions properly. He felt a stab of pity as he watched his partner crying. It was rather pathetic. The human did look similar to Frenzy's real self, as much as any human could. The bright blue eyes, thin limbs and sharp edges, the crest of silvery hair that spiked in a similar manner to his usual head decorations, all reminiscent of Frenzy's real body. His partner was a human now, and he had no idea what to do.

"How did this happen anyway?" he asked.

"C-can't remember." Frenzy wiped a thin wrist across his nose – which had also begun leaking, Barricade noticed with a tremor of disgust. "I was in the computer store, getting ss-ss-stuff, then BOOM! Wh-white light and I'm in the alley like _this_." With a howl of frustration, he slammed his heel against Barricade's dashboard, once, twice, three times. He smashed an elbow against the door and punched a fist into the seat cushion, letting out another yell at the pain of it all, which quickly dissolved into sobbing. "I h-h-hate this! Hate this body!"

Barricade said nothing as his partner finished his little fit of anger, huddling up into a snivelling ball. What he wanted to do was shout at Frenzy to calm the slag down and get a hold of himself, but he figured all that would do would make things worse. The last thing he needed was to make the human leak even more. He couldn't offer any words of comfort, either. It just wasn't in him to do, and so he remained silent.

Gradually, Frenzy's sobbing abated, leaving him sniffling and shivering. Idly wishing that his partner would stop that infernal vibrating, Barricade recalled with a start that humans were far more susceptible to temperature than Cybertronians. Considering that his particular human didn't even have the advantage of insulating fabric he shouldn't be surprised that he's shivering. Discreetly, he turned up his internal heating, but only slightly and it wasn't for the human's benefit. All that shaking was just distracting and annoying, was all.

"Let's get you some clothes," he said, finally. "Then we can figure out what to do about this revolting new body of yours."

Frenzy peeked out from under his arms, the strange blue of his irises even more striking in contrast with the red of his eyes. He stared at Barricade for a long moment, expression unreadable then finally said, "O-k-kay."

---

It was still dark out and activity in the town low, giving the pair of Decepticons the perfect opportunity to raid some bins the humans had set aside for donating clothes. Sifting through the piles of clothing, it had been difficult to find things to fit Frenzy's rather diminutive frame, but any clothes were better than no clothes, and so the robot-turned-human would just have to deal with wearing oversized garments.

Cinching his belt tight about his slim hips, Frenzy fumbled the belt buckle into place and let his massive t-shirt flop into place over it. First staring down at himself, he glanced up at Barricade and shrugged, one fine eyebrow raised sceptically.

For his part, Barricade didn't laugh out loud, even though he did think his partner looked ridiculous, limiting himself to a single snort of amusement. He let his passenger door swing open, allowing Frenzy to clamber in and settle in the passenger seat. Lounging back, the human crosses his arms and lifts a foot to rest on top of Barricade's dashboard, prompting a growl from the police car.

"Keep your squishy appendages to yourself," he said. "Besides you should wear the seatbelt. Humans are so weak. The last thing I need to deal with is you getting damaged in an accident, you're already pathetic enough." Not that Barricade intended to get into any accidents, but he might just 'accidentally' ram into some irritating human at some point.

Frenzy let his foot slide down the dash to thud against the floor and, despite muttering irritably about it, complied with Barricade's request. "The seatbelt digs into my shoulder. It's uncomfortable."

"I don't care," Barricade said, starting his engine. "You're sure you don't remember anything beyond the white light?"

"Nnn-n-nothing," Frenzy said with a shake of his head, before sniping, "Maybe I was abducted by aliens."

Snorting, Barricade pulled away from the curb and headed back into the street. "We should go back to the alley. See if there's any evidence of what happened."

"Didn't see anything last night," Frenzy grumbled, but didn't otherwise protest, and for a few minutes there was glorious silence. Of course, having Frenzy as a passenger, robot or human, meant that silence never lasted long. Soon enough, he sat back, fidgeting, and began to complain. "This body is uncomfortable. Its ss-s-senses are half dead. It keeps doing things by itself. Blinking and b-breathing and I can't do them right if I think about it. No control is d-dis-disconcerting."

Barricade felt a familiar rush of irritation, accompanied by a small feeling of relief. Frenzy was obviously starting to feel well enough to start babbling at light speed as per usual, and his new human voice was at least as annoying as his real one, if not more. The cop car tuned out his partner with the ease of stellar cycles of practise and drove on towards the alley.

"…and my skin! It's easily irritated! Then I try to scratch, but if I ss-scratch too hard it – _ehn_ – causes pain. These human nerves are useless at gauging pressure…"

---

There was nothing to be found in the alley, a dead end both literally and figuratively. No sign of Frenzy's real body, no sign of struggle, not even a tell-tale energy signal of any kind. Abso-fragging-lutely nothing.

Barricade was at a loss for what to do. Frenzy was an organic, and he needed to get his partner out of that nasty meat-shell and back into a proper body, but he had no idea how this had happened in the first place, let alone how to fix it. Why did he keep getting dragged into these messes? Why did he keep _letting_ himself get dragged into these messes? He hated humans, so why hadn't he just left the slagging flesh-creature on the street to rot? Frenzy or no, he was useless to Barricade now, trapped in a slowly dying cage of organic tissue, and those who were useless should be left behind to fend for themselves. The strong strive ahead while the weak fall. And yet… he couldn't just leave Frenzy behind. He couldn't just abandon his partner, and he wasn't sure he was ready to admit why not.

Suddenly – fortunately? – Barricade's thoughts were interrupted as Frenzy doubled over with a groan, skeletal arms wrapping around his midsection. The groan from the human's mouth was answered by a gurgling groan from his stomach.

"B-b-barricade," Frenzy whined. "I'm in pain. Sort of. There is discomfort in my… stomach? Am I hungry? It's not like e-ee-energy craving at all."

Hunger? Right. Humans needed to ingest organic fuel to power their bodies. Frequently. Slag, this could be troublesome. Day had dawned and the town had come alive with the rising sun. Cars filled the streets, humans filled the sidewalks, and stealing had become a much more difficult endeavour. Frenzy would have been hard-pressed to pilfer food under these conditions even if he hadn't become a clumsy meatbag for the moment. Well, if stealing _food_ wasn't an option then they'd have to do it in the legal human manner. With money. Money they would have to steal. What a great plan.

"Money," Barricade muttered. "We need to acquire money."

"How do you pro-pro-propose we get that?" Frenzy demanded.

"We steal it," Barricade says lamely. "Somehow."

"Your plan is flawless, oh mighty leader."

"How about this plan: you shut your gaping organic noise hole or I nail it shut for you."

Frenzy snarled and rolled his eyes, but stopped talking. The silence inside Barricade stretched, interrupted only by the rumble of his engine and the sounds of humanity outside. Finally, the human pipes up with a suggestion: "How about you go r-rr-run someone off the road then I jump out and steal their money?"

"Extremely tempting, but no. The less attention we attract, the better."

"We can't even find a lone pede-de-destrian and run it over?"

Barricade snorted with amusement. Was he happy to know that his partner still held his old dislike of humans despite being one currently? Why yes, yes he was. "No, Frenzy."

"Buzz-kill," Frenzy said, pouting. Glancing out Barricade's window, he sat up suddenly and pointed. "Barricade! Wuuuh-one of those machines! ATM. Automated Teller Machine. Humans get money out of them."

"Hm?" The Decepticon car turned part of his attention to the bank his partner was pointing to, and the line of machines in front of it.

"I could hack into it-!" Frenzy stopped, and stared down at his hands, wiggling his long, bony fingers. He frowned. "Nnn-no I couldn't."

"I should be able to operate one if I get close enough," Barricade said. "You'd just need to get out and grab the money. You should be able to handle _that_."

He got a glare and a kick in the dashboard for that, but it wasn't like it hurt. Still, maybe he shouldn't tease his companion so much about his unfortunate situation… Hah! Yeah right. Frenzy would taunt him endlessly if their situations were reversed.

Meanwhile, Barricade circled about to park in front of a bank, grateful that the streets weren't entirely packed with cars yet. Flinging open his passenger door he waited for Frenzy to scramble out and skulk over to the machine, then went to work. He hated dealing with human computers. So slow and primitive. But it also made them easy to hack. Connecting his system to the ATM, he wondered how much money they would need. Humans needed to refuel and hydrate themselves frequently, and Frenzy might need other things as well if he were to remain stuck in this state for an unfortunately long time. Well, if they were going to steal, they might as well steal a lot.

Frenzy waited impatiently in front of the ATM, shifting from foot to foot. He was drawing strange looks from the people walking by. Suspicious looks? Maybe. Was it his hair? It was admittedly rather uncommon looking hair from what he had seen of humans, all spiky and silvery. Stupid humans, his hair was better than their boring flat and shades-of-brown hair. Maybe it was his shabby clothing. He probably looked like a 'hobo'. It might be strange to see a hobo at an ATM. Or – he glanced down at his bare feet – it might be because he had no footwear. Humans were supposed to wear shoes, and he could understand why. The pavement _was_ uncomfortable against his skin. Why did human have to be irritatingly sensitive to things as simple as a rough surface? He added 'shoes' to his mental list, immediately following 'food'.

Finally the ATM began to spit out money and Frenzy quickly snatched up the bills, resisting the urge to glance about nervously. Nervousness is suspicious. Be casual. Once he had gathered all the money, he quickly returned to his partner with a large stack of twenty dollar bills.

"This looks like a lot of money," he said, tugging on his seatbelt. He began flipping through the bills, counting them.

"Yeah," Barricade answered.

Frenzy began to grin as he counted up to one thousand dollars, his smile only getting wider as he counted up past two thousand. "I am going to buy sooo much stuff."

---

The first of Frenzy's purchases was not food, but rather footwear. While this may have been totally against the order of his mental list, he had simply been unable to resist spending his new money when Barricade had driven by a street vendor who was selling, among other things, sandals. He was not the proud owner of a pair of flip flops. Not just any flip flops, either. They were lime green and studded with plastic jewels.

"They're sparkly!" he said proudly.

"They're hideous," Barricade replied.

Frenzy snorted. "You have no taste."

"_I_ have no taste?"

Urged on by the increasing ache in his stomach, this first purchase was quickly followed up with food. Feet properly outfitted in his lovely new sandals, Frenzy strode into a small convenience store and poked about the shelves. He settled on buying several bottles of water and a couple plastic wrapped sandwiches. He was a bit dubious about the sandwiches, but they did seem to contain all the food groups humans professed they needed. He figured they'd be good for his body, if nothing else.

Lugging his bags of food and water back to Barricade, Frenzy's nose was suddenly filled with a wondrous aroma. Now, the olfactory sensors of his normal form had processed the scent of human food plenty of times, but never had the small of it induced such craving in him. Rushing over to his partner, he flung open the passenger side door and tossed in his purchases with a quick "Wait a second!" hurrying off before Barricade could protest.

Sniffing about, Frenzy followed the delicious smell into a bakery, only to be assaulted by a thousand scents, each more delicious than the last. He moved around the shop, staring at the various delicious confections and pastries on display, taking time to savour the scent of each baked good. Cakes, muffins, pies, cookies, bread… He was practically drooling over them all by the time he reached the counter.

"Can I help you?"

Frenzy glanced up at the human female behind the counter, then back around at the displayed goods, trying to decide on something to buy. His eyes finally settled on a freshly baked blueberry pie, the aroma of warm fruit and pastry especially enticing. Pointing it out, he said, "I want that one."

Feeling oddly pleased with himself for the first time since he had ended up in this body – as while he had been pleased with his sandals, he hadn't really felt pleased with himself just for buying them – Frenzy practically skipped back to his partner, pie in hand. Barricade wasn't quite so thrilled with his purchase.

"A pie?" Barricade asked incredulously. "Why would you buy an entire pie? I'm fairly certain that humans don't need to consume that much material at one time."

Frenzy ignored his partner in favour of focussing on his pie. Carefully digging out a piece of crust and filling, he raised it to his mouth and bit down. Flavour exploded across his tongue and he was momentarily too surprised to chew. It was _so good_. This taste business was unlike anything he had experienced as a robot. He'd felt contentment at replenishing his energy supply, sure, but this… this was very pleasurable in a manner that he hadn't felt before. The pie was magnificent, not just in flavour, but the texture as well, and the scent just added to the experience! His bony hands dug frantically into the pie, shoving more of the wonderful, wonderful food into Frenzy's mouth.

Barricade watched the display in disgust. Crumbs and blueberry going everywhere, Frenzy making atrocious smacking noises as he chewed, mixing food and saliva in a horrific dancing of tongue and teeth that he couldn't help but catch glances of every time those pale lips opened. Morbid curiosity wouldn't allow him to pull his entire attention away from the scene, even as he resisted the urge to shudder. "I might be mistaken," he said sarcastically, "but I do believe the purpose of pie is to _consume_ it, not _cover_ yourself with it."

Frenzy was too busy to respond.

---

Loud groans emitted from Barricade's back seat. Frenzy had moved back there after deciding that lying down made it much easier to assume the foetal position, and had found the front passenger seat too small for comfort. Moaning again, the human curled tighter around his aching midsection, having actually managed to become paler than usual.

"It serves you right," Barricade said. "I told you that was more food than you could consume at one time."

Not only had Frenzy polished off the pie, but enamoured with the pleasure of eating he had also devoured several of his sandwiches and washed it all down with an entire bottle of water. While neither pleasant nor unpleasant to the taste buds, the water had been very refreshing to his new body. Regardless of how lovely the business of eating and drinking had been, he was now deeply regretting that he had taken to it with such zeal.

Whimpering, he rolled onto his other side and tried to fight off the feeling of nausea emanating from his stomach. It was another new sensation to add to his growing list of 'Weird Shit This Stinking Body Feels' alongside the pleasure of eating, though this was one he could certainly have done without. Stupid human body, it ached when it needed fuel and it ached even more when it had it. Frenzy gagged at a fresh wave of nausea, feeling bile heat his throat. Slapping a hand over his mouth, he choked it back down, shaking and sweating with the pain.

"If you vomit in my interior I am going to crush you into a paste," Barricade warned. There was definitely no thread of worry in his voice. He was just irritated with Frenzy for doing something so stupid and getting himself into this situation. His partner can't have been the first human to ever overeat, and it's not like he would die from it. At least Barricade didn't think so. Maybe he should do a quick internet search…

Frenzy grunted in response and tried to ignore the pain in his belly. After a second fit of gagging, he forced himself into a sitting position in an attempt to let gravity help keep the food in his stomach down where it was supposed to be. Slumping against Barricade's inner side for support, his nausea subsided enough that he felt he could open his mouth without instantly puking his guts out. "Wuh-where are we g-guh-going?" he asked weakly.

"I don't know," Barricade said.

"Oh."

Lapsing into uncharacteristic silence, Frenzy concentrated on the hum and vibration of his partner's engine. It was surprisingly soothing, he thought, slowly shifting himself back down to lie across Barricade's backseat. Closing his eyes, he pushed his clammy face into the seat, and gradually the ache in his stomach began to ebb away. His mind felt very sluggish now and his body heavy, in a way that reminded him of the feeling he got when he needed to recharge. Sleepiness, then, he imagined. Humans needed sleep. Cybertronians didn't really sleep, not like organics did. He wondered if it would be strange, to have parts of his processor- no, brain, sort of… turn off for a time. Maybe he would even do that thing… that thing sleeping humans did… what did they call it…? Dreaming…?

Frenzy's breathing evened out, tension leaving his body, as the robot-turned-human took his first journey into the land of sleep.


	3. Chapter Two

**Title:** Squishy, Prologue  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything related to Transformers except merchandise, and I am making no money off this story.

**Author's Note: **This fic has been completely revised and is close to double its original word length! I highly recommend any old readers re-read the entire thing.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Things were mercifully silent as Barricade cruised down the stretch of highway. He had driven out of the damnable town where this entire mess had started and headed straight out to nowhere. Civilization had fallen away behind him along with traffic, and now he could actually go for cycles without seeing another vehicle. Now there was just him, the hum of his motor, and the slow breathing of his sleeping partner.

After his gorging and subsequent illness, Frenzy had fallen into a deep sleep that had lasted most of the day, the sun now sitting just above the horizon and making its slow creep down. The human certainly seemed to have calmed down from when he was awake, and had shifted in his sleep to curl on his side with one arm hooked around Barricade's seatbelt and being used as a pillow. He also happened to be drooling slightly, but thankfully his oversized shirt was currently absorbing the leaking fluid, otherwise Barricade would have had to wake him. The issue being that he'd then have to put up with Frenzy's endless jabbering and bitching again, not that he was worried about disturbing his partner's slumber.

Honestly, humans and their incessant leaking. No wonder they had to constantly ingest fluids with all the liquid they kept losing, through their skin, eyes, mouths… Any Cybertronian losing fluids at that rate should go straight to the scrap yard. Slagging organics.

Disgusting tendencies aside, Barricade had to admit that Frenzy looked rather… peaceful, and the feeling was strangely contagious. Driving along the nearly empty highway with nothing so interesting as even a turn to keep him occupied, the Decepticon was left with his thoughts.

Things were different now between himself and Frenzy. While his partner had always been smaller and physically weaker than Barricade, the little 'Con was still tough and could certainly take of himself. He'd even known Frenzy to take down a much larger opponent by himself on a rare occasion when cornered. The two of them appreciated, perhaps even enjoyed, working together, but they could have parted ways at any time and both of them would likely have done fine. Now, however, his partner had become so much more fragile, more vulnerable, and could no longer be considered fully independent. If Barricade were to leave him now, trapped in a body that he was still learning to understand, who knows what would happen to him. Frenzy _might_ find a way to survive alone in human society, but then again, maybe not, and probably not well. Now he _needed_ Barricade to take care of him and protect, and he wasn't sure how to feel about that. He should feel disgust at his partner's weakness, shun him, ridicule him for his dependence and leave him to his fate since Frenzy would only slow him down now. Instead it felt almost… nice to be so needed. Not wanting to pursue that avenue of thought further, he switched tracks.

Barricade wasn't sure where they were going. What exactly was he supposed to do now? His partner had been mysteriously transformed into a human, they had no clues as to how it had happened, and there wasn't anywhere for them to go for help. As far as he knew they were the last two Decepticons on this rock. Not that most of the Decepticons that he knew would have been any help even if they were still alive. Yeah, he could imagine how well that would go over:

'_Hey Bonecrusher, my partner turned into a human, can you lend me a hand?'_

'_I hate you.' Squish._

'_You killed Frenzy, you glitch!'_

Uh-huh. Sure Bonecrusher was pretty much the worst possible choice, but none of the others would have been much better. Decepticons didn't suffer the weak. They'd have told him to abandon Frenzy at best, and tried to put him out of his fleshy misery at worst, and Barricade had decided that neither of those was a viable option. He wouldn't abandon Frenzy. He couldn't.

Which left Barricade back at square one: a partner with a bizarre affliction, no leads, and no help.

Except- Except maybe- But no. There was no way he was going to _them_ for help. Even if they would agree to aid him – which they _wouldn't_ – Barricade couldn't accept assistance from them. From the enemy. He wouldn't. Yet he couldn't deny that his supposedly aimless wanderings were taking him closer to what could be considered enemy territory, though technically the whole planet was enemy territory. There were certain areas that _they_ were more likely to patrol, and he was headed straight into them.

But there was no way a Decepticon like him could ever ask the Autobots for help.

Further thoughts were derailed as the cadence of Frenzy's breathing changed with a loud snort, electric blue eyes fluttering open. Sitting up slowly, the human looked around blearily and absent-mindedly wiped the dampness from the corner of his mouth. He glanced down at his hand as if seeing it for the first time, and promptly scowled and began to curse under his breath. Yes, he was still caught in this squishy prison. Yes, he was still as annoyingly vocal as ever.

Picking at some crusty build-up at the corner of his eyes – and flicking it onto his floor, much to Barricade's chagrin – he paused and peered down at his abdomen. Looking rather displeased, he reached out a bony finger and prodded at his lower belly. "B-b-barricade," he said.

"What is it _now_?" Barricade said, his exasperation clear. He swore, if Frenzy was sick _again_… Was there no end to the troubles a human body could develop? Maybe it was because they were so short-lived. They had to fit their lifetime's worth of glitches into a short period or something.

Frenzy jabs Barricade's seat with a sharp elbow, not appreciating his partner's tone. "There is a new ache in my lower abdomen."

"And you… expect me to do something about it," the cop car replied. "I'm not a slagging human vet." Honestly, what did he know about humans to figure out what the slag was wrong with them and how to fix it?

Letting out a long-suffering sigh, Frenzy said, "Humans are ineffective at processing materials, yes? I ingested large quantities of water and I have to get rid of the excess s-ss-somehow."

Barricade thought about that for a moment. Then a moment longer. Then he screeched to a halt in the middle of the highway and flung open his door. "Get out now. I swear, if you urinate in me there won't even be enough left of you to-"

Frenzy cuts him off with a growl and a kick to the back of a seat. "We are in the middle of nowhere! I refuse to p-p-pi-_piss_ on the side of the road. I _do_ still have enough control over my own body – even if it is horrible and treacherous now," he mutters under his breath before continuing, "to be able to 'hold it.'"

It seemed like Barricade was going to argue and force his partner out onto the roadside, but instead he slammed his door shut and started driving again, snarling, "You had better be able to control it."

"Less talking, more finding me somewhere with a b-b-bathroom." Frenzy was actually less sure about his ability to control his bladder than he let on, though he solemnly hoped he could hold it in. He doubted Barricade was making idle threats about the level of insult that pissing on he seats would involve. Then again, death might be preferable to the mortification he would feel if he wet himself. Oh how he despised the lack of control he had over his own body, but maybe the threat would keep it in line.

Barricade pulled up to a small gas station that boasted a bathroom. "Fill up my tank while you're out there," he said. "And buy a new shirt or something. You've already managed to get that one filthy."

Frenzy glanced down at the remains of his blueberry pie which now encrusted his sweater and grunted, shoving out of his partner.

"And be quick about it!" Barricade called after him.

Growling, the human turned and glared at his partner, the Decepticon's holo-driver lounging lazily and smirking smugly. Rolling his eyes, Frenzy flipped him the bird and hurried into the gas station and its awaiting bathroom. Its filthy, filthy bathroom as he soon discovered. Locking the door, he turned to stare at the toilet in both disgust and defiance and unzipped his pants.

---

Well, that could have gone worse, Frenzy supposed. The place was already disgusting when he got here, and he hadn't added much to the filth. If nobody else was going to clean up after themselves, he certainly wasn't going to do it. He was no more interested in dealing with human bodily fluids than his partner, especially not waste ones. Stupid inefficient human body…

Walking over to the sinks to cleanse his hands, he paused. Hanging on the wall over the sink was a mirror, and reflected back at him through a thin layer of grime was the face of a pale, sickly human. Leaning forward, he wiped a hand across the glass and peered closer at this strange, unfamiliar face. His most striking feature was his eyes, the shocking blue standing out while the rest of him was pale and faded, from his sallow skin to his silvery-white hair. Not that he had much hair anyway, the majority of his scalp smooth and bare on either side of a spiky band of hair, currently mussed from sleep. Running a hand idly through his Mohawk, the strands spring back into place behind it, reassuming their original and rather gravity-defying arrangement that rather resembled his true body's crest.

Frenzy squinted in confusion. That didn't seem entirely normal for human hair. Further contemplation of that was interrupted by another mystery. Leaning even closer to the mirror, he eyed what appeared to be a thin, barely visible line of slightly lighter flesh running down his face. Rubbing a finger over it, he found the line to be slightly raised. Trailing down his forehead, it bisected his eyebrow, ran down around his eye and across his cheek, before finally hooking under his ear. Turning his head, he found that the line looped back behind his ear and up his scalp, forming a complete ring.

"What the slag is-?" His hand jerked from his head to his throat, where he had noticed a second pale line encircling his neck. What were these? Scars?! But why- He suddenly remembered two rather significant injuries he had received not-so-long-ago: that squishy bitch cutting off his head, and when he had found his head cleft in two in an incident that definitely had nothing to do with his own weapon. His eye began to twitch, strangled noises escaping his throat. What the _fuck_ was going on? This fragging body held so many ridiculous details that screamed _him_, and yet the face that stared back in the mirror was _not_ him, not at all!

He hated this situation, he hated this face and this body, and he hated that none of this made _any damned sense_. He was supposed to be a Decepticon, not a disgusting little human! It shouldn't be _possible_ for him to be a disgusting little human. Just… hate. Hatehate_hate_. And… Barricade probably hated it too. Hated him too. His partner hated humans, and since Frenzy was a human it was probably only a matter of time before his partner gave up on him and left him to rot. He didn't want to be left alone, not like this. He was so weak now, so confused, so _helpless_… and that pale face just kept looking back, mocking him.

With a snarl, Frenzy jerked his head back and slammed it forward, his forehead colliding with the mirror with a loud _crack_.

---

Frenzy shoved angrily out of the gas station store, heading back to where his partner was parked by a gas pump. Jerking open the passenger door he tossed the plastic bag he was carrying onto the seat, uncaring if its contents decided to spill out: a crappy t-shirt, some sandwiches, some wet wipes, a box of band-aids…

"What took you so long?" Barricade said impatiently, idly examining the objects invading his interior. "And you better not have forgotten to buy gas-" Finally he turned his attention to Frenzy and did a double take. "What the slag happened to your face?"

In the short time he had been gone the human had acquired a charming new addition to his forehead in the form of a colourful bandage slapped over a blotchy and swollen-looking patch of skin. Though Frenzy had obviously wiped a lot of it away, there were still a few smears of drying blood decorating his face and neck and adding further stains to his soiled sweater.

Grunting in response, Frenzy tugged his dirty shirt over his head and tossed it in the direction of a garbage can. Digging out his new t-shirt – just some random, boring thing he had picked up first – he wriggled into it, and muttered, "Got into an argument with a mirror."

Barricade snorted in amused surprise, as his partner moved to the gas pump. "You… you did what? You are such a freak, why the slag would you- ow!" The cop car winced as Frenzy jammed the gas nozzle into the filler neck of his tank with much more force than necessarily. "Watch it, flesh-bag!" he growled.

"Take it like man!" Frenzy sneered back then muttered under his breath, "Bitch, next time I'll just piss in your gas tank…"

"Try it and there won't be enough of you left to identify as human!"

"I'm _not_ human!" he shrieked, yanking the nozzle back out and slamming it back into its holder. Pausing, he glanced suspiciously back at the store, wondering if the attendant was listening. Aw, screw him. He should go die in a fire. Quieting down, he mumbled, "I'm just… ss-sss-stuck in a human suit."

"Just get in," Barricade said. He could hear the pain in Frenzy's voice, and whether its source was the wound on his forehead or something less physical, it still made him feel uncomfortable and he refused to dwell on that.

Sulking, Frenzy shoved his bag off the front passenger's seat and flopped down. Fishing for the wet wipes and flipping down the sun visor, he began to search out and eradicated any traces of blood still left on him. "I need to buy new clothes," he said as Barricade left the gas stop. "This shirt is – hngh! – awful."

Do not engage in banter, do not engage in banter, do not- Slaggit, Barricade couldn't resist. "So, the perfectly normal shirt is awful, but the absolutely hideous sandals are fine?"

"They're s-ss-sparkly!" Frenzy argued, perking up slightly at the sign of an argument. He lifted a leg to rub the sole of one lime green sandal all over Barricade's dash. "They're interesting and f-ff-fun, unlike _you_. A lot better looking than you, too."

Barricade growled back a retort and the argument continued on, comfortingly familiar. Meanwhile, he'd keep driving and find his partner a town or city so that tomorrow he could go shopping. Just to shut him up, of course.

---

"Get out."

Frenzy paused for a long moment, glancing between Barricade's holo-driver and the sidewalk his partner had parked by. Was he being kicked out? Had Barricade finally decided that he wanted nothing more to do with a stinking, squishy human? Would he now be abandoned to face the wide, cruel world all alo-

"What are you waiting for?" Barricade said. "You wanted to go shopping, didn't you? So go shop!"

"Oh! _Oooh_. Oh." Frenzy got it now. "Right, shopping." Peering out his partner's window, he eyed the variety of shops and restaurants lining the street. None of the ones he could see from here looked like clothing stores, though. "You're nnn-not going to drop me off in front of a clothing store?"

A snort. "You still have two legs, and they're made for walking. Go shop around yourself." Barricade flipped his passenger side door open, watching Frenzy scramble out and slouch nervously on the curb. Snapping the door shut, he said, "I'm going to go scout around, maybe power down for a bit. I'll be back in a megacycle, and you better be here on time."

"B-b-but I don't have a watch!" Frenzy protested. "Don't l-l-l-leave-!" But Barricade had already pulled away from the curb and headed off into traffic. _Don't leave me alone_. The human pouted angrily, stuffing his hands into his pants pockets. Fine, be that way, Barricade. He'd just go shopping then. And by all the most awesome, most obnoxious clothing and accessories he could find! He fingered the wads of cash he had divided up among his pockets. Even though he had left much of the money back in his partner, he still had more than enough to acquire an impressive haul.

Setting his chin in determination, Frenzy set off down the street, eyeing each store he passed in turn. Ooh look, a backpack that looked like a rainbow had puked all over it! His frown rapidly twisted up into a grin as he pushed into a store with the jingle of a bell. This was going to be _fun_.

---

Frenzy hurried back to where his partner had left him, swinging his garish and now rather stuffed backpack onto his shoulders. Running was certainly easier in his new footwear, having traded his sandals for a pair of sneakers that blinked little lights as he walked. Not that he'd gotten rid of his lovely green sandals, no. Those were carefully stashed away in his backpack with the rest of his new things. The t-shirt and pants he had started out with hadn't fared as well, and were now sitting in a garbage can somewhere. In their place he wore a glittering silver shirt and a pair of stretchy, eye-smartingly colourful pants. And that wasn't all! There was the spiky, spiky belt which he didn't actually need to hold his pants up, but had instead slung around his hips for the sole purpose of draping and clipping a wide variety of chains and bangles on. He had matching spiky arm bands, too! And an assortment of cheap colourful bracelets. And a bright blue wristwatch with sharks on the strap. And a flashing whistle on a strap around his neck. That wasn't even getting to all the other stuff he had in his bag!

As happy as his new belongings made him, they didn't stop him worrying. He'd already taken longer than he intended to, possibly over a megacycle, and he couldn't shake the horrible feeling that if he didn't get back on time then Barricade would just leave him. Forever. He couldn't handle that, not now, and maybe… maybe not even if he was normal. He recalled a time in the past when we had thought his partner might just leave him to die, and it had felt just as bad back then as it did now. But Barricade had come for him then, and he would come back for him now, right? Even if he was human. He hoped.

Hurrying as he was, Frenzy received a painful reminder of how dull his reflexes were as a human, especially when distracted. The air was knocked out of him with an '_oomph_' as he collided with an unyielding shoulder and went toppling to the sidewalk. Hissing, he grabbed his elbow, skin stinging where it had scrapped against the pavement and beginning to leak a mall amount of blood. Lips drawing back from his teeth in a scowl, he glared up at the human he had smacked into.

A very large and rather muscular man glared back at him, dusting imaginary dirt off his jacket in apparent disgust. Accompanying the man were two other males, one to either side. The one on the left was taller than the middle stooge, and thinner, his muscles wiry. The one to the right was lefty's opposite, short and fat, and possessing of a massive, tangled beard. To Frenzy's chagrin they were all taller and bulkier than him. It seemed that human or robot he remained a particular shrimpy specimen.

"Watch where you're going, _freak_," the middle man sneered.

Frenzy's hands clenched, one of his eyes twitching slightly. Oh, how he wished he still had his built-in weapons. He'd like to see the fleshy bastard sneer with a razor sharp disk lodged in his ugly, chunky face and his friends shot full of holes. Watching angrily as the trio continued past him, he muttered rapidly under his breath, "Sss-st-stupid insects, hope a ravenous flesh-beast devours your entrails – _hrnk_ – want to rip out your stupid fleshy t-t-tongues…"

"What did you say?" a voice hissed. Twisting around, Frenzy saw that the men had stopped and were slowly moving back toward him. For a moment he felt a chill of fear, but it was quickly swamped out by anger, fuelled by his exasperation with life and hatred for this damn body. Pushing himself to his feet, he bared his teeth further and gazed defiantly back.

---

Barricade had to wonder why he was cursed with a partner who _kept on disappearing._ Frenzy was far overdue to return, _again_, and his initial annoyance was quickly giving way to something akin to worry. It wasn't actual worry of course; he just disliked being inconvenienced, especially by humans. Any other human and he would have left long ago. In fact, he still might actually leave! His partner Frenzy might be, but he wasn't going to wait around for an unpunctual human. However… he'd better take a look around first. Perhaps his partner had gotten lost, or at least lost track of time. Humans had no built-in direction sense and Frenzy had made the point that he didn't have a watch before Barricade had left. Maybe he shouldn't have brushed off that observation as unimportant.

He cruised away from the drop-off point, making gradually wider sweeps of the area in as close to a circular fashion as the roads allowed. How familiar this all was. Maybe this time when he finally found Frenzy he'd be back to normal again. Then things would go back to the way they were and they could both begin to forget this whole freakish experience.

Continuing his patrol, he paused occasionally to roll down his window question random bystanders with his holo-driver. As negatives piled up with no sign of Frenzy whatsoever, he became more and more irritable and anxious. Pulling up in front of a haggard, and most likely drunk, man slouched against a wall, he practically snarled, "Have you seen a young man, few inches over five feet tall, grey or silver hair, Mohawk, extremely skinny?" Pause. "Probably wearing green flip flops?"

The man looked at him blearily for a long moment as though struggling to understand the question, prompting Barricade to repeat the question, slowly growling out each word. Finally the man grinned slightly and nodded. "Oh, skinny little fellow you say?" he said, speech heavily slurred. "I think- I think I mighta seen someone… like that…"

Barricade waited impatiently for the human to continue after he had trailed off, but nothing seemed forthcoming. _Oh for- slagging fleshbag!_ Giving up, he prompted, "Did you see him or not?!"

"What? Oh! Right. Pale, too, right? Wearin' a funny shirt. Saw 'im pass by 'while back with some big guys. None of 'em looked too happy, I tell ya."

The Decepticon mentally cursed up a storm and demanded, "Where did they go?!"

The drunk pointed vaguely to a small road heading off the main street, and within seconds Barricade was roaring down it. He streaked past a secluded parking lot, but a flash of sensory information had him screeching to a halt and backing up to the entrance. The lot seemed abandoned, but had he seen something there? He swept his sensors across the lot, and yes, there was something, a warm lump in the farthest corner… No. No no no no. Pulling into the deserted lot, he eased up to the crumpled form, careful not to run it over. That small, bony body and spiky crop of silver hair was unmistakable. Even through all the blood.

Oh _slag_ no.

Uncaring of whether or not there was anyone to see him, Barricade transformed, kneeling next to his partner. Leaning closer, he was infinitely relieved to hear a wheeze of breath from Frenzy's limp body. He reached out with a large hand, ignoring the slight tremor in it, and gently shifted the human further onto his side. The sight of Frenzy's face drew a hiss of anger from him: it was covered in dark bruises, one eye swollen completely shut, and his nose was a mass of blood. The cut on his forehead had been bared and was bleeding again, now joined by numerous other scratches and lacerations.

"Frenzy?" he asked, his sensors scanning over the rest of his partner's bruised and beaten body. Stretching out a finger, he oh-so-carefully brushed a few strands blood-caked of hair away from Frenzy's face.

One electric blue eye flickered open, looking unfocused. Pale lips parted, blood dribbling out from between them, and from the nasty split in one of them. Suddenly Frenzy choked, spewing out a gush of blood, vomit, and something else. Cringing slightly in disgust, Barricade eyed the object lying in the vile puddle. Was it part of a human _ear_?

Frenzy continued to gag for a few more moments, tears beginning to course from his eyes to mix with the blood on his face. Finally he subsided into shudders, and when his head began to drop towards his expelled fluids, Barricade fought his revulsion at touching it and slipped a finger beneath his partner's head. He had to be careful, so very careful, as his partner was soft and fragile and his fingers with hard and sharp. The claws of his other hand dug deep into the pavement, scratching deep furrows into it.

Frenzy's lips opened again, this time in an attempt to speak. "B-b-b… b-b-b-ba…" He paused, wheezing, and continued, his voice barely above a whisper. "B-b-b-barri…"

"Don't," Barricade growled, completely failing to keep the rage and distress out of his voice. His mind was filling with white-hot rage, and there was only one thing he could think of that could make it better. "Frenzy, who did this?"

"B-b-barr… c-c-c-_hkh_-cade…"

"Yes, I'm here," he answered, then snarled, "Who _did this?_"

It was a simple question and he needed the answer. He needed to know, needed to find the slagging meatbags he knew must have done this, had to _punish_ them. Whoever it had been had hurt his partner, had taken advantage of the fact that Frenzy wasn't as strong as usual, had taken advantage of how he was only a fragile human and hurt him. Badly. He wasn't sure how bad, he didn't know enough about humans to tell and there was no time to look it up, and what if he was going to die? What if he died because Barricade wasn't there to protect him and- _When he found the slagging piece of putrid flesh that had done this he was going to rip them open and force them to eat their own entrails._

"Who was it?!" he shouted. "Just answer!"

But Frenzy wasn't answering, just wheezing quietly and occasionally stuttering out a few syllables of Barricade's name. That was when the Decepticon noticed that his partner's visible pupil was dilated despite the light that was shining directly into his eye. That wasn't normal. He didn't know much about humans, but he knew that defeated the purpose of even having an iris. Barricade's anger deflated for the moment, replaced with apprehension. His claws dug deeper into the pavement, and he asked, "What… what's wrong?"

"H-hh-hurts," Frenzy whispered. "B-b… b-b-b-breathe."

"You… you have a broken rib," Barricade said following a quick scan of his partner's chest.

Frenzy merely moaned in acknowledgement, his eye sliding closed.

"Frenzy? Frenzy!" Wrenching his claws from the pavement, his hand darted toward his partner, hovering over him. He was still breathing, still alive, but Barricade had to do something. But he shouldn't touch him more, shouldn't move him, his partner was so fragile at the moment he might just make things worse. There was nothing he could do to help, not now. He had already failed Frenzy by not being there to protect him, and there was nothing further he could do to for him. He needed someone else to help, someone who actually knew how to deal with injured humans.

Unable to think of any other option, Barricade did what he had to do. He called 911.


	4. Chapter Three

**Title:** Squishy, Prologue  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything related to Transformers except merchandise, and I am making no money off this story.

**Author's Note: **This fic has been completely revised and is close to double its original word length! I highly recommend any old readers re-read the entire thing.

* * *

**Three**

Ratchet's calling in life was to save the lives of others. Even fresh off the assembly line, he had shown an interest in helping people; repairing injuries, relieving pain, returning them to full functionality. He was a medic through-and-through. As such, the war had been hard on him at first. He'd had to learn to hurt instead of heal, destroy instead of rebuild, kill instead of save. In the end, what it had come down to was the understanding that killing a few could save many. Even so, each death at his hands weighed heavily on his spark at first, and so he had sworn that for every person he harmed, he would attempt to heal a dozen more. It was a daunting task, perhaps, but a necessary one if he wished to be able to live with himself. Of course, over time he had become jaded, cold, and he had ceased to feel guilt when it came to killing in battle, and that had just made his self-imposed repentance all the more important. He couldn't let himself become nothing more than a killer.

However, being on Earth had put a cramp in his personal atonement. As much as Ratchet appreciated the peace they had gained since the defeat of the Megatron and the Decepticons on the planet several months back, it had left him with little more to do than the occasional tune-up and a rare quick patch for some small injury his companions had received. It wasn't enough, and it wasn't as though he could turn his attentions to humans. He didn't have the knowledge to treat them properly, and while he had begun to teach himself human anatomy and care out of want for something to do, even if he gained the knowledge he was still in disguise and keeping a low profile. Especially after failing Jazz, Ratchet had been left feeling rather depressed and useless, a situation that had not gone unnoticed by Optimus Prime.

Troubled by his medical officer's growing feelings of inadequacy, Optimus had taken it upon himself arrange for a job for Ratchet, and one where he could help save lives, too. A short drive and a change of vehicle mode later and the medic had found himself where he was now: acting as an ambulance for the emergency services of a small city not far from Sam Witwicky's home town, Tranquility. It wasn't a perfect solution, but Ratchet had to admit that it was much preferable to sitting around and stewing in his guilt. And he _was_ helping people.

Take now for example. An emergency call had been placed, giving the location of a man who had apparently received a severe beating, and so with sirens wailing and humans at his wheel and in his back, he was heading to the scene. While he technically let the humans do the driving, all the while he added his own little touches, adjusting his wheels just so, altering his speed slightly, turning just a bit differently than the hands on the steering wheel wanted, all to keep him at top performance and get them where they needed to go as quickly and smoothly as possible.

Police cars were pulling up to the scene even as he arrived, but Ratchet paid them no mind, concentrating on parking so that the Emergency Medical Technicians could pile out and retrieve the injured man. Though one of the police cars did look a little out of place among the others, and was pulling away rather than approaching. That particular vehicle did look rather familiar, where had he seen it before…?

A thrill of shock raced through him. Surely it couldn't be Barricade. No, he'd never gotten a good look at that particular Decepticon on Earth; it must just be a similar looking human vehicle. Still, Ratchet remained on edge. The last thing he needed to deal with was a Decepticon here, now.

In the meantime, he turned his attention to his surroundings. Police had begun to cordon off the area, and the EMTs had begun to see to the patient, getting ready to load him onto a stretcher. Ratchet felt a wash of pity for the poor human. He had seen much worse injuries, both during the war and in humans while working as an ambulance, but that didn't make the violence committed against this particular human any less unfortunate.

He did a quick scan of the area and had to wonder who had called 911 in the first place. There were no humans around beyond the police, the EMTs, and the injured, and this parking lot was rather out of the way. Even the windows in the surrounding buildings were at an awkward position for an easy view of the lot. Strange. Had the attacker (or attackers) made the call? Oh well, it wasn't his job to investigate assaults. He would leave that job to the police.

As the patient was loaded into him and they began the trek back to the hospital, Ratchet looked over him, making note of injuries. He didn't seem to be immediate threat of death, and probably looked worse off than he actually was. The Autobot attributed part of this to the patient being one of the palest and skinniest humans he had ever encountered in person. There was a lot of blood on the young man, having leaked from numerous lacerations and abrasions on his skin, many of those having begun to scab over. Another major source of blood was the human's broken nose. Scanning for other breaks, Ratchet picked out two broken fingers on the man's right hand and a cracked rib. He wasn't even going to begin to categorize all of the human's bruises. As he watched, an EMT lifted the young man's eyelids, revealing subconjunctival haemorrhaging in his bruised eye and the fact that the man's pupils were dilated to different sizes. That indicated potential brain trauma, but a deeper scan revealed that it was probably merely the result of a concussion rather than a more serious cerebral contusion.

The patient stirred and moaned as the EMTs worked on him, and his swollen lips parted to mumble something almost inaudible, even to Ratchet's sensitive audio receptors. He focussed on the sound.

"B-b-ba… Ba-barri… c-cade…"

Ratchet went cold. That couldn't be coincidence. The strange police car he had seen must have been a Decepticon as he had thought. However, if that were the case, why would this human know of Barricade's designation? Was the human's current condition the result of contact with the Decepticon? That didn't make a great deal of sense. Surely a violent encounter with Barricade would have resulted in gruesome death rather than non-lethal bodily harm. There was something very strange going on here, and small details like the mysterious caller just seemed even more suspicious.

As he pulled up to the hospital, Ratchet changed his mind about leaving investigating to the police. Something was wrong, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. Though he may need a little help along the way.

---

A plain black Saleen Mustang sat across from the hospital, parked inconspicuously among the other cars lining the sidewalk. Still, it gave off a strange feeling of malice, like a predator lurking in wait, which made more than one passing pedestrian shiver and give it a wide berth, without really understanding why.

Barricade had dropped his embellishments as a law enforcement vehicle for the time being in the name of staying undercover. He had managed to identify the ambulance that showed up to collect Frenzy as the Autobot Ratchet and had to wonder at the cosmic coincidence and bad luck of it all. Sure he had been heading in the general direction of the Autobots' territory, but what were the chances that there would be one in the random city he had chosen, that said Autobot would be an ambulance, and that said ambulance would be the one to respond to his call? The universe obviously hated him. Either way, being spotted by Ratchet wasn't an option.

He was waiting, but not for Frenzy. There was nothing he could do to help his partner at the moment; that was in the hands of the medical humans. While his thoughts occasionally drifted to Frenzy, he simply took the worry and frustration and channelled it into rage for the task ahead of him. No, he wasn't waiting for Frenzy. Instead he was pursuing the one thing he could do for his partner right now: Get revenge.

Frenzy had bitten off his attacker's ear.

Shortly after making his call to 911, Barricade had made a quick search of the surrounding area while he waited for the sound of sirens. Along with a rather garish backpack that reeked of his partner, he had picked up the bit of flesh and raised it to his olfactory sensors, burning the scent of the human into his memory banks. He would hunt the worthless sack of meat that hurt his partner to the farthest corners of the planet if he had to and when he found it, he would make it _pay_.

He had decided that naturally a human that had violently lost part of its ear would seek medical attention and had proceeded to the nearest hospital which, no surprise, had been the same one that Frenzy had been brought to. There he had picked up faint traces of the human's scent and so here he was parked in front of the hospital. All he had to do now was avoid detection and wait for his prey.

A stronger hint of the human's scent wafted its way to him and his attention immediately arrowed in on its source. A short, rotund man had shoved his way out of the main hospital entrance, the bandage covering the side of his head further affirming his guilt. A second, taller man supported the first, and Barricade was very interested to note that this one had his own share of bruises. Well, well, well, had One-Ear there had an accomplice in his partner's assault? It was certainly looking that way, and the Decepticon couldn't help feeling a twist of sick pride. Of course it would take more than a single human to take down Frenzy, even if he was in a… weakened state. The pride was only increased by the fact that both men were obviously larger and more muscular than his partner's current form.

As he watched, the pair of humans climbed into a truck and pulled out of the hospital parking lot, taking off down the street. Easing his own way into traffic, Barricade began his pursuit. Keeping his distance as he followed them, he took a quick trip through a parking garage, quickly and discreetly altering his exterior back into that of a police car. Returning to the street, he easily regained sight of his prey as the truck turned a corner and he soon slipped after them. It was time for the hunt.

He hung back, stalking them out of the city and beyond, always being careful to stay behind them without seeming to follow them. He had to wait for the opportune moment. Even for revenge, it wouldn't do to go bringing the Autobots down on his head. Then what would happen to Frenzy? So he had to be patient.

Then opportunity struck. The truck that was his prey turned onto a quieter road, one edged on one side by a steep incline, the bottom of which couldn't easily be seen from the road, the view obscured by a few trees and other brush. Perfect. With a whoop of his sirens, Barricade sped up, bearing down on his quarry. For a moment he wondered if they would make a run for it in their guilt, but the humans merely slowed and pulled over to the side of the road. Slagging arrogant fleshlings, did they think that no-one would find out about their crime against his partner?

As he glided to a stop behind the truck, the taller man leaned out his window and shouted, "What's the matter, officer? I wasn't speeding or nothing!"

With a quick check in either direction to make sure that no-one was coming in the next few moments, he boomed, "_You're the problem!_" and shot up into his robot form. Before the humans even had time to scream, Barricade had lunged forward to seize the truck and sent it flipping over the guardrail. Of course, he didn't want the _fun_ to end too soon, and he couldn't risk a tumble down the embankment killing either of the men, so he quickly leapt after the vehicle, claws crunching into the metal and his feet digging deep into the ground. Stopping the truck's roll, he and the vehicle still slid fairly down the hill, and at the bottom he unceremoniously flipped the vehicle back onto its wheels.

The humans squealed like pigs the whole way down.

Grabbing a metal-crunching hold of the passenger door, he ripped it off its hinges, exposing the prize inside. With a flick of a sharp finger he severed One-Ear's seatbelt then dragged the putrid pile of flesh out kicking and screaming. Barricade only grinned dementedly, lifting the human level with his glaring red optics.

"Oh God, oh God, oh fuck, oh God!" the human whimpered, struggling against the hand clutching around his chest. "What the hell, oh god, please, let me go! Oh g- Augh!" One-Ear quickly found it difficult to talk as the unyielding metal hand clenched tighter, making him wheeze for breath.

The car's other door slammed open, drawing Barricade's attention as the taller man made a run for it. The Decepticon snorted at the human's foolishness, catching up with him in only a few long strides. Raising a foot, he kicked the fleshling to the ground then lowered his weight onto the man's legs. He almost shivered in dark satisfaction at the resulting crack of bone and wail of pain. He couldn't quite resist the urge to grind his foot down a little harder. Mm, music to his audio receptors.

"W-what the hell are you?!" the man in his grasp gasped out. "What do you want from us?!"

"You," he began, almost sweetly, as he lifted a finger tip to trail down the side of the man's head that held his injured ear. A thin line of blood followed it, and the dressing on the ear split and fell away. "You messed with my partner." He dug the finger into the remains of the flesh bag's ear, eliciting a delightful whimper of agony. "So now you get to mess with _me_."

Leaning forward, he snapped his jaws together directly in front of the man's nose. His own olfactory sensors tingled with an unpleasant scent, and he glanced down to find wetness quickly spreading across his captive's pants. Barricade snorted in disgust, and dropped the human to the ground with another satisfying snap of breaking bones. "Disgusting creatures," he said. "I'm going to do a whole lot worse than rip off your ear."

Stepping off the taller man's legs, he crouched menacingly over his prey. "Though perhaps," he purred sadistically. "That would be a good place to start."

---

"We have a situation."

Ratchet's voice spoke, not out loud, but across a channel open to all Autobots. Even if a human had been able to hear his words, they'd likely remain incomprehensible, spoken as they were in Cybertronian.

Having returned to the hospital with his mysterious patient, Ratchet had taken what knowledge he had gained from the young man and begun researching his past, sweeping the internet for information. The results had only raised further interest and suspicion in the medic. As humans might say, "the plot thickens." He only wished he could return to the scene of the attack to make his own investigation of the site, but to abandon his post would be irresponsible and only raise questions among the humans at the hospital. For now he would leave investigating to the police and try to get a hold of their report at a later date. Legally, of course. If this situation was half as interesting as he thought it was, Optimus Prime should be able to pull some strings to get the government's co-operation. If not, his commander should at least be able to dispatch someone less tied down than himself to inspect the site.

Speaking of Optimus Prime…

"What is it, Ratchet?" the Autobot leader spoke over the channel.

"I have located the Decepticon Barricade," Ratchet said. "As well I-"

The medic was cut off as a third voice made itself known on the communications channel.

"What is that punk-ass Decepticon up to now? Has he been bothering you? Slagging 'Con shouldn't have poked his ugly mug out of whatever hole he's been hiding in…"

"Ironhide," Optimus Prime said as his weapons expert continued to ramble on irritably. "Ironhide! Let Ratchet continue."

"Right, Prime," Ironhide said, silencing himself. It was obvious that he was still mentally grumbling at the audacity of a Decepticon showing up anywhere near any Autobot. In fact, he was fully considering driving out to Ratchet's location right this moment and tracking down that no-good Decepti-punk. How he'd love to introduce the slagger to his cannons.

Amusement clear in his voice, Ratchet continued, "As I was saying, I also had an encounter with a rather interesting human. And before you ask, this _is_ related to my Decepticon sighting."

"That is interesting," Optimus said, a hint of surprise in his voice. "Explain."

Ratchet proceeded to relate the day's strange tale, from the emergency call, to his spotting of Barricade at the crime scene, to the injured man who somehow knew the Decepticon's name. What he didn't mention was his growing suspicion that the unknown caller had been the Decepticon himself. The assumption was largely baseless and made little sense. Why would a Decepticon ever help a human? That was speculation for a later time; for the moment he still had further story to tell. "The man is also unidentified at the moment, a 'John Doe'. There was no identification on him at the time I picked him up, and I haven't been able to find any further information on him, and believe me, I have been looking.

"While I was carrying him to the hospital, I took the liberty of scanning his fingerprints and dental structure, as well as constructing an image of his undamaged face based on the underlying bone structure. Despite all this and several hours of searching, I have been unable to find any information on him as of yet. Now, I will admit that I'm no master of searching for people, but the fact that I have been unable to find the slightest match for any of his features makes this young man strangely elusive.

"This may still mean nothing, but in conjunction with his apparent contact with a Decepticon, it is rather suspicious."

"You're right," Optimus Prime affirmed then lapsed into silence, thinking.

"Kid can't have gotten attacked by the 'Con," Ironhide said. "Or he'd be dead."

"I had the same thought," said Ratchet. "I'm unsure what to make of the situation, and there's little more I can do from my position other than continue searching and try to keep tabs on the patient."

"That's fine, Ratchet," Optimus said. "Remain at your post for now, but I'll be sending someone along to support you. Ironhide?"

"Already on my way, Prime."

It was easy to imagine Optimus shaking his head in exasperation at his trigger-happy soldier. "While the situation with the human is intriguing and deserves looking into, more important at the moment is that there's a Decepticon in the area. As a potential threat to both the humans and ourselves, he must be dealt with. And Ironhide?"

"Yes, Prime?"

"Aim to capture the Decepticon, not kill. I'd like to get to the bottom of this, as well as see if we can learn about any other potential Decepticon threats."

"Yes, Prime," Ironhide said, sounding as disappointed as a child who had just been denied desert.

A fourth, softer voice joined the conversation.

"Remember that Barricade usually has a small partner with him," Bumblebee spoke. While his vocal processors might still be giving him a bit of trouble, the comm channel avoided the issue as he wasn't actually speaking out loud.

Ironhide snorted. "I can handle however many 'Cons get thrown my way."

"But if you _do_ get in over your head," Ratchet said, "I will be nearby to support you."

"Then it's settled," said Optimus Prime. "Ironhide, I expect you to report back to me on arrival. Otherwise, Ratchet, contact me if anything important happens in the meantime. We'll all speak again within the next day or two unless something urgent comes out. Optimus Prime, out."

The other Autobots shared their affirmations and goodbyes and then the comm channel fell silent.

---

One-Ear was still alive when Barricade finally tossed what remained of him to the ground. Somehow. No doubt that state of being wouldn't last for long, but surely every moment that the human continued to cling to life was pure agony. He certainly hoped so anyway, otherwise he hadn't done his job properly. The man certainly looked distressed! Or maybe what was left of his face just automatically looked that way. Barricade would ask, but the disgusting little squishy's vocal cords were no longer what one could consider functional.

Snickering darkly to himself, the Decepticon turned his attentions to his other captive. The taller man was currently lying unmolested, save for the crushed legs and bleeding stumps where he used to have earlobes. Barricade had even been nice enough to clumsily wrap a strip of cloth torn from the man's clothing around his head to prevent the fleshbag from bleeding to death while he was busy with the other useless sack of meat. The impromptu bandage might even have served the merciful double purpose of blocking out One-Ear's horrific screams of anguish! Oh wait, the volume and close proximity of them probably rendered the meagre cloth barrier useless as anything other than a blood sponge. That would explain the traumatized expression on the fleshling's face.

Drinking the expression in, Barricade savoured the way the man began to tremble at his approach. His extended torture of One-Ear had left him feeling almost giddy, the quenching of his vengeful feelings filling him with perverse pleasure. In fact, he was feeling good enough that he might even be willing to grant a little bit of mercy. Besides, there was a little question that had begun to niggle at the back of his mind.

He dropped to his hands and knees, looming over his captive. Leaning down until his face almost touched the human's tear-and-blood-soaked visage, he asked, "Was there anyone else with you when attacked my partner?" The man's eyes focussed on him, pained, terrified, confused, and he clarified, "The scrawny little human with the Mohawk, was there anyone else with you?"

"I- I can't- I don't," the man stuttered then trailed off into whimpers.

"_Was there anyone else with you?_" Barricade snarled.

"Y-yes!" The pathetic ball of meat cringed away from him. "Please, don't hurt me, I'm just, I just, I didn't mean-"

Excuses are meaningless. The interrogation continued. "Who?!"

Several times the human opened and closed his mouth, as though searching for something to say. Finally he whimpered out, "N-no… won't tell. I- I won't…"

Instead of growling menacingly and demanding an answer louder, Barricade's voice dropped to a quiet, almost friendly tone. "Tell me and I'll let you go."

The man managed to look startled through his pain and fear. He was silent for a moment, no doubt his misplaced loyalty fighting with his sense of self-preservation. The fight didn't last long, though, and he soon yelled out, "Aaron Dempsey! H-he was there too! Actually, it was him! H-he started it! He did the most-"

The fleshling's nattering was cut off with a sudden _squelch_ as Barricade's foot came down firmly on his head and chest. Staring impassively down at the corpse, he lifted his foot and casually wiped it against the ground next to him. "Look at that," he said blithely. "I lied."

Hey, putting a rabid animal out of its misery was merciful, was it not?

Turning away from the fruits of his vengeful labours, Barricade began to scale the embankment back up to the road. He still had work to do today. He needed to track down this Aaron Dempsey and share with him the same hospitality he had given the man's friends. He wouldn't stop until his revenge was complete.

For Frenzy.


End file.
